Mid apocalypse public transport part 3.14Mb

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Middle aged spider man’s are the hero’s I didn’t know I needed.

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This review may contain spoilers.

Honestly might be the biggest “swing and a miss” in movie history.

Interesting premise, legendary franchise, eye watering budget, great art direction, great actors for the most part. All let down by an INFURIATINGLY stupid script.

Weyland-Yutani seriously need to take a look at their HR practises. Every single person on this mission makes a pigs ear of everything at a rate that makes most local councils look like tactical geniuses. 1 day into the mission and half the crew are bickering despite having just made the biggest scientific discovery in human history. Where in the management handbook does it say that flame throwing your employees is acceptable? Can we discuss the moral implications of bringing a 2000 year old severed head back to life before charging in having not tested the equipment! WTF GUYS.

The biggest shame in this movie though is the engineers. Set up as super geniuses who plant the seed for life throughout the Galaxy. But when we finnaly meet a live one….he’s just a BIG SCARY MONSTER RAAAR.

Also keep your religious shite out of Sci-Fi movies please. Religions already ruined the world leave sci-fi in peace ffs.

I choose to believe Ridley Scott is a hack. 1 and a half stars out of 5.*

*the half star is purely for Michel Fastblender who is the best thing about this movie.

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Avoided watching this again for years because I though it might not be as good as I remembered. But it still stands up. It gets lost up its own arse at points, a bit like the main character, but it’s still a fun adventure that leaves you with some serious wanderlust.

Callie having a lurk with her new toy.

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Kurt Russell was amazing everything else was shite.

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You know what. I absolutely detested the uninspired soft reboot pish that was the first Jurassic World. But I actually enjoyed this one. It’s still not amazing but it seemed like they actually made an effort this time.

Also I quite like the ending. spoiler! in terms of world changing events having to dodge dinos while going to Tesco sounds more fun then a pandemic.

Santas been to the city chambers.

Cueing for a boostin

Obligatory end of year whiskey shoot.